College Student Has "Sick" Spring Break Plans and Definitely Won't Be Going to his Parent's House
Published February 2024SPOKANE, WA – Gonzaga University freshman Arden Bleamoe told friends that he has “sick” spring break plans and he is definitely not going home to his parent’s house.
Local Man Already Regretting Buying Hot Tub
Published July 2023ST LOUIS, MO – A local man has told friends that he is already regretting his late-March hot tub purchase.
Local Man Didn't Run Dishwasher Like He Was Supposed To
Published April 2022HENDERSON, NV – Local Man, Gavin Crusher, forgot to run the dishwasher probably because of a Pokémon videogame.
Sanctions Imposed on Russian Porn After Russian Invasion of Ukraine
Published March 2022NEW YORK, NY – The United States of America and the European Union announced drastic new sanctions against Russia as a result of the war in Ukraine. The sanctions will block the import of any pornography from Russia.
Local Man Concerned by Thoughts of Purchasing Flip-Flops
Published March 2021CHICAGO, IL – Local software developer Andre Flutroe, 29, says he has become concerned about his increasing desire to purchase a pair of flip-flops sandals.
To Help Fight Racism Pornhub Will Soon Only Offer Interracial Videos on Site
Published December 2020NEW YORK, NY – Pornography website Pornhub has pledged to help fight racism by only offering interracial content.
Future Version of The Rock Appears to Warn World of 2020
Published November 2020NEW YORK, NY – A time-traveling The Rock, whose real name is Dwayne Johnson, appeared in Times Square earlier this week to warn the world about the year 2020.
Beth Sinclair: COVID-19 Thanksgiving Tips
Published October 2020Hello, hello, HELLOOOOOOOO! Oh. My. GOD. It has been forever! It is I, your bestest friend in all of the deep, dark web – Beth Sinclair!
Home Owners Opting for Home Offices Instead of Home Sex Dungeons
Published June 2020SEATTLE, WA – A new report from Zillow states that “home office” has replaced “sex dungeon” as the number one search phrase entered by users looking for a new home.
Starbucks Unveils Dick Flavored Coffee Drinks
Published March 2017SEATTLE, WA – Starbucks will be expanding its menu next month, rolling out new dick flavored coffee drinks to stores across the country.
“When looking for a new flavor we asked ourselves ‘what do people, at least most people, like?’ the answer was obvious; dick,” said Starbucks Flavor Engineer, Kylie Kearns. “And the love of dick is worldwide. Almost every single woman has had a dick in their mouth at some point."
“When looking for a new flavor we asked ourselves ‘what do people, at least most people, like?’ the answer was obvious; dick,” said Starbucks Flavor Engineer, Kylie Kearns. “And the love of dick is worldwide. Almost every single woman has had a dick in their mouth at some point."
