Teen Commemorating Cobain’s Suicide with Terrible Song
Published April 2014SEATTLE, WA – Local 17-year-old, Jakob Custors, is commemorating the 20th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide by writing a terrible song.
“Jessie” Stars Round Out Star Wars VII Cast
Published February 2014HOLLYWOOD, CA – With the filming set to begin in a few months, Disney has finally revealed the cast for the highly anticipated Star Wars Episode VII.
Local Black Man Sick of Explaining He Doesn’t Like Rap
Published February 2014SEATTLE, WA – Russell Fischer, a 28-year-old black man from Olympia, says he is tired of explaining why he does not like rap music even though he is, in fact, a black man.
Jennifer Lawrence Brings Peace to Middle East
Published February 2014WASHINGTON, D.C. – America’s beloved actress, Jennifer Lawrence, has brought peace to the entire Middle East.
“Jennifer Lawrence came here and looked me right in the eye and said that there should be peace so I made peace,” said Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “As much as I want to be true to my people and my country, above all I want to make Jennifer Lawrence happy. She is just a really great girl. She deserves to be happy.”
Local Man Won’t Stop Talking About “Doctor Who”
Published December 2013AUSTIN, TX – Local man Justin Neeley will not stop talking about the television show “Doctor Who” despite the fact his friends and family are no longer willing to listen to him.
Networks Unveil New Shows for Fall Television Season
Published September 2013HOLLYWOOD, CA – Over the last several weeks television networks have started rolling out their Fall schedule.
Local Man Still Listening to Linkin Park for Some Reason
Published August 2013FARGO, ND – Local man, Jesse Wright, is still listening to music by the band Linkin Park despite the fact that it is the year 2013.
Beth Sinclair: Summer Movie Preview
Published May 2013HOLLYWOOD, CA – Ho! Ly! Cow people! It seems like it has been for ever since I wrote a column for you guys. I know! I’ve missed you too.
ODB Hologram Arrested, Fathers Four Children
Published June 2013MISSOULA, MT – The hologram of deceased rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard was arrested twice and fathered four children during last month’s Shamalabam Music Festival.
The Ol’ Dirty Bastard hologram appeared during the Wu-Tang Clan rap group’s set.
“We can confirm that the rapper hologram Ol’ Dirty Bastard was arrested twice this past weekend,” said Missoula Police Department Spokesman Terri Bobrovsky.
Entertainment Blogs Shut Down After Ranking Everything
Published February 2013NEW YORK, NY – Shortly after a list of MC Hammer’s 10 best songs that start with the letter ‘K’ was posted on a blog, all entertainment websites announced they would cease operations and shut down.
