IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT – The Galactic Empire is reeling after the release of several sensitive documents on the website Wikileaks including plans and defense systems of the Death Star space station.

“(The leaking of sensitive information) is something that I never foresaw,” said Emperor Palpatine. “Never did I feel that a betrayal like this would occur. The Dark Side is strong, but not strong enough to see this coming.”

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS – Tom Tom has unveiled a new feature to its voice guided GPS navigation system that will allow customers to load the voice of their spouse into the device to make for a more “familiar” driving experience.

This new service will be called Voice Voice and will be available in the next generation of Tom Tom GPS navigation devices beginning early next year.

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Students at MIT have succeeded in building a robot with artificial intelligence capable of pressing an elevator button.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Despite expectations to the contrary, the recent purchase of an Apple iPhone has left Geoffrey Glocke’s life relatively unchanged.

PORTLAND, OR – The latest application from Google, code named “Blue Screen,” has the entire tech industry on edge as rumors persist that the application will revolutionize modern computing.
“The technology at work here is astonishingly sophisticated. It’s unlike anything the world has ever seen,” said Google CEO Eric Schmidt. “ “This (Blue Screen) will literally reach through your screen and slap you in the face. Well, not literally.”

SANTA CRUZ, CA – An epidemic is sweeping the nation as the popular website Twitter is being used more and more regularly to post vague and generally uninteresting messages.

TORONTO, CANADA – The Canadian based Research in Motion is set to unveil its next generation Blackberry next month and the cell phone industry is abuzz with the limited information that’s been made available.

BIRMINGHAM, AL – An Information Technology employee at Etraz, Inc. has begun referring to himself in the third person.

SEATTLE, WA – With the enormous success of the video game Rock Band, MTV Games has announced plans to extend the video game line with the addition of at least two news games scheduled to release this yea

CHARLOTTESVILLE, OH – Manufacturers are working feverishly on an upgrade to the software installed in the SkyNet Cyborg model XX1331, more commonly referred to as Governor Sarah Palin. The Republican Party is putting pressure on SkyNet to resolve a number of issues as the party is becoming less and less happy with its recent purchase of a Palin.