AUSTIN, TX – A solution to concerns over redistricting and illegal immigration is being proposed by Texas lawmakers to address a recent slew of lawsuits surrounding the 2010 census.

NEWARK, DELAWARE – In what is being described as a major coup, many prominent witches have given their endorsement to Delaware Senate hopeful, Christine O’Donnell.

VIRGINIA BEACH – VA – Leaders of the Tea Party movement have announced that they are continuing to pretend that they dislike President Obama purely on political terms.

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the super majority in the Senate, Democrats have switched strategies for passing legislation. Democratic leaders are now going to start using reverse psychology to get the bills they deem important through the Senate and house.
“Realistically (reverse psychology) is going to be a pretty simple thing to implement,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

BETHESDA, MD – Insurance lobbyist Larry Branagan is begging Congress to give him what he wants most for Christmas – no public health care option whatsoever under any new health care related legislation.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With less than a month left in his term as President of the United States, George W. Bush has admitted that he has “a severe case of senioritis.”

SANTE FE, NM – New Mexico Governor, Bill Richardson, has signed legislation approving a change in the New Mexico state flag and state nickname. The current state nickname of “Land of Enchantment” will be replaced with the new motto of “Land of Unending Construction.”

CHARLOTTESVILLE, OH – Manufacturers are working feverishly on an upgrade to the software installed in the SkyNet Cyborg model XX1331, more commonly referred to as Governor Sarah Palin. The Republican Party is putting pressure on SkyNet to resolve a number of issues as the party is becoming less and less happy with its recent purchase of a Palin.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – With Global Warming becoming the hot topic among television and radio talk show hosts, celebrities have begun using their massive political influence and scientific expertise to help protect and revive aspects of the environment.

WASHINGTON, DC – With faith in their government at an all time low, the American people have elected a new party to take lead of Congress – The Klingon National Assembly. This marks the first time in the history of the United States that a third party, let alone one consisting entirely of a violent alien race, has been a majority in either the House of Representatives or the Senate.