200 Musicians Sued For Writting Only A Few Good Songs

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LOS ANGELES, CA – In a response to lawsuits filled against music downloaders, one million people filled a joint lawsuit against 200 musicians and several major record labels for breach of contract stating a failure to deliver promised goods. The lawsuit was filled in the Los Angeles County court by a group calling themselves the People Against One-Hit Wonders.

“This whole mess of downloading songs and people accusing people of ripping off artists is getting out of hand and I really think it’s time to put the blame on those that deserve it, the artists themselves,” said PAOHW lawyer Steven Stile. “If these guys would make more than one song that is worth a shit then we really wouldn’t have a problem. You don’t see good bands like Bob Dylan and The Beatles complaining about stealing their songs. No… you hear Metallica and Kid Rock bitching.”

Over the last couple years, music downloading has become more and more popular as the quality of music has decreased. Last year, American Consumer reported a decline of CD sales for the third consecutive year.

“I get online and download the good songs and save myself the money,” said college student and PAOHW member Cori Marshall. “Who wants to spend 16 bucks and buy a whole album full of crap for a single song? Come on… that Evanescence crap? You think anyone listens to any other song on that CD except that popular one? Go into any record store and you will find like 20 copies of it used sitting in the bargain bin. And don’t even get me started on Limp Bizkit.”

Many of the bands listed in the lawsuit have come out in defense of their music and their albums. Lead singer of the group Metallica, James Hetfield, has been one of the most vocal.

“Man, I cant goin’ and havin’ people stealing and shit from me,” Hetfield said. “I fuckin worked hard to make that shit and I ain’t gonna stand there while some little shit tries to take food outta my mouth. You know how hard it is to come up with new power cords? Hard. If they take music from me, I got nuttin’. I’m too stupid to do anything else. And I need that money to pay for my hookers and blow. And that shit ain’t cheap.”

“I don’t think people realize how difficult it is to make a CD these days,” said Sugar Ray lead singer Mark McGrath. “Songs are really hard to write when you aren’t very good at it and have no real talent. All the good songs have already been written so we have to recycle the old stuff and disguise it so the stupid kid… I mean, our fans, think it’s a whole new song. That’s why cover songs are so popular right now. The only other thing you can do is rely on good looks. Fortunately I’ve done both. But if people stop buying our CDs we will have to rely on concert revenue and you really don’t make that much money playing state fairs. Ask Billy Ray Cyrus. He had to get a crappy TV show to pay the bills. I can’t be doing that.”

There are several bands, not listed in the lawsuit, that don’t mind if fans download their songs.

“Who gives a shit. People will buy my music whether they download it or not,” said singer/songwriter Ben Folds. “The more people that hear it the more will be at my shows. That’s the best part. Download all you want I say and fuck Metallica,”


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