SEATTLE, WA – With the enormous success of the video game Rock Band, MTV Games has announced plans to extend the video game line with the addition of at least two news games scheduled to release this yea

LITTLE ROCK, AR – A local father of two, Edgar Glen, has told his family that he doesn’t see what’s so great or funny about The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

PORTLAND, OR – According to a new survey conducted by Time magazine, the top resolution for 2009 is to stop masturbating. The survey, conducted over three months, interviewed close to a million people.

CHICAGO, IL – In a recent study conducted by the American Automobile Association (AAA), it was shown that 98% of all hotel rooms in America have been used by prostitutes.

LAS VEGAS, NV – The Excalibur Hotel and Casino is set to debut the highly anticipated new show, the Blew Man Group. The show features four men, painted head to toe in blue paint, giving each other blow jobs.

MIAMI, FL – In an effort to increase revenues, CBS Television has announced that the seven-hour block of programming devoted to the Super Bowl will now be entirely commercials.

WASHINGTON, DC – All of the living former Presidents of the United States have begun hazing newly inaugurated President Barack Obama in a tradition that dates back decades.

DENVER, CO – With the economy struggling and massive layoffs a daily occurrence, employment experts have released a list of the top 10 paying jobs for the upcoming year. Toping that list is Employment Expert.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In another bailout request, Santa Claus appeared before Congress this week asking for $45 billion in order to continue operations and ensure “Christmas happens as it should.”

SANTE FE, NM – New Mexico Governor, Bill Richardson, has signed legislation approving a change in the New Mexico state flag and state nickname. The current state nickname of “Land of Enchantment” will be replaced with the new motto of “Land of Unending Construction.”