DENVER, CO – Despite the viewing of 220 “inspirational” films where the underdogs become victorious, The Colorado Rockies lost the World Series in four straight games to the much better Boston Red Sox.

LOUISVILLE, KY – The day after The Academy Is concert, Victoria Jorgensen, 22, was terrified to realize that she had accidentally slept with the band’s bass player – mistaking him for someone important in the band.

CHICAGO, IL – In a recent study conducted by the American Automobile Association (AAA), it was shown that 98% of all hotel rooms in America have been used by prostitutes.

BRIANHEAD, UT – At a baby shower for Krista Wilson, an inappropriate gift was given causing the mother-to-be to decry “this is the worst baby shower ever!”
The gift, a knife set, was given to Wilson by co-worker Rachele Ferreast.

LOS ANGELES, CA – A screenplay author in Hollywood, CA accidentally created a unique script earlier this week. The script titled “Standing Alone In the Fire” has been met with trepidation by Hollywood studios.

ENGLEWOOD, CO – Undeterred by a less than attractive facial appearance, John Lewdig, US West Order Coodinator, was classified as “fuckable” by fellow co-worker and single mother Janice Jamison.

TACOMA, WA – during a tour of his new apartment, Will Bren overly explained the presence of a bottle of lotion resting next to his bed.

CANTON, TX – A marquee outside the Christ Church of Canton has caused confusion among much of the church’s parishioners.

SANTE FE, NM – New Mexico Governor, Bill Richardson, has signed legislation approving a change in the New Mexico state flag and state nickname. The current state nickname of “Land of Enchantment” will be replaced with the new motto of “Land of Unending Construction.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke announced last week the government’s plan to bailout the struggling Lehman brothers, Jim and Hank, of Baltimore, MD. The Lehman brothers have found themselves in economic trouble after two years of extravagant living, causing the government to sit up and take action before the Lehman brother’s assets are liquidated.