BROOKLYN, NY – A local Democrat has become so angry with the government that she is taking a strong stand by updating her blog. Rochelle Avery has updated her blog 17 times in the last three months.

NEW YORK CITY, NY – As the holiday season approaches, several top toy retailers have released a combined list of this year’s top, must-have toys to help parents ensure their children get everything they should want and that the children will be popular amongst other children.

“This list is something (retailers) do every year as a service to parents,” said Toys R Us spokeswoman Carol Hall.

LOS ANGELES, CA – As film studios continue the recent trend of remaking classic films, Warner Bros. Pictures announced this week that it will begin production on a remake of the upcoming film “Where the Wild Things Are.”
Although the original film isn’t scheduled for release until next month, Warner Bros. Pictures decided to get a jump on the production of a remake rather than devote resources to developing new story ideas.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke announced last week the government’s plan to bailout the struggling Lehman brothers, Jim and Hank, of Baltimore, MD. The Lehman brothers have found themselves in economic trouble after two years of extravagant living, causing the government to sit up and take action before the Lehman brother’s assets are liquidated.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the economy is recession, The United States Government has issued recommendations to taxpayers on how to spend their economic stimulus checks.

LAS VEGAS, NV – Resort developer Steve Wynn is planning a new feature to add to his Wynn Las Vegas Resort and Country Club that he is describing as “the first of its kind.” The feature, currently dubbed “The Spankdome,” will be a giant coliseum where entrants will be allowed to masturbate freely anywhere in the building.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the race for the Democratic nomination yielding no clear victor after months of debates and primaries, the Democratic Party officials have decided the Presidential nomination will go to the winner of a “your momma” battle.

WASHINGTON, DC – With no clear front-runner for the Republican Presidential candidate, several GOP members have called a back-up plan into action and have reanimated former President Ronald Reagan.

SEATTLE, WA – In an effort to improve efficiency and reduce costs, many U.S. companies have begun turning to ninjas to meet security needs. Ninjas, mythical warriors from Japan are in hot demand these days as companies have realized how versatile an asset the ninja can be when used in security functions.

WASHINGTON, DC – With faith in their government at an all time low, the American people have elected a new party to take lead of Congress – The Klingon National Assembly. This marks the first time in the history of the United States that a third party, let alone one consisting entirely of a violent alien race, has been a majority in either the House of Representatives or the Senate.