PORTLAND, OR – The much anticipated and celebrated 700th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper.

LOS ANGELES, CA – After selling over a million copies of her debut album, rocker Terra Tory is looking forward to the new year and is eager to disappoint both fans and critics alike with her new album.

EUGENE, OR – A recent snowstorm has forced a local man to think about how much he really like the woman he is currently dating.

DENVER, CO – A lifetime of silliness was validated last week when local man Christopher Meens finally appeared on the Jumbotron during a Colorado Avalanche hockey game.

UPLAND, CA -In what doctors are reporting as a medical breakthrough, 15-year-old Rachelle Bremerton has said a complete sentence for the first time in three years.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Holy freaking guacamole you guys! It has been, like, forever since I was last able to grace your eye holes with my everlasting words of wisdom!

OMAHA, NE – Staring out the window of his home, seven-year-old Billy Tanner, sits silently, sipping his strawberry lemonade thinking about how good things used to be, back when things were simpler.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Summer is here and with it brand new fashion.

SAN MATEO, CA – During Heather Freiberg’s birthday dinner, the girl at the end of the table gathered all the used plates and silverware in to easily moveable piles because she said she was once a server and “knows what it’s like.”

NEW YORK, NY – There is a new city at the top of this year’s The Scoop News’ semi-annual list of best places to live although it may not come as a surprise to the people who live there.