Fans Upset After Toronto Maple Leafs Miss Super Bowl for 57th TimePublished January 2023
TORONTO, CANADA – For the 57th consecutive year, the Toronto Maple Leafs will not play in the Super Bowl, frustrating a dedicated and passionate fan base.
Dawn Releases New Dish Soap for MenPublished January 2023
CINCINNATI, OH – In an effort to appeal to men, Procter & Gamble (P&G) is releasing a new Dawn Dish Soap made specifically for men.
Buffalo Wild Wings to Replace All Chairs with ToiletsPublished September 2022
COLUMBUS, OH – The restaurant and sports bar chain Buffalo Wild Wings will be making a major change to all existing locations over the next six months, replacing all chairs and barstools with continuous flow toilets.
Local Ventriloquist No Longer Invited to PartiesPublished July 2021
LAKEWOOD, CO – Local ventriloquist, Joshua Castellino, is no longer invited to parties due to refusal to leave his dummy, Winston, at home.
Fans Demand Director’s Cut Release of Pornhub videoPublished March 2021
HOLLYWOOD, CA – After a successful campaign to convince HBO to release the “Snyder cut” of “Justice League,” fans have started a similar campaign for the release of the director’s cut of the Pornhub video “Step sister alseep on couch BBC surprise DVDA”.
Gates Suggests People Focus on Positive Impacts to Possible Microchips in COVID VaccinesPublished December 2020
MILWAUKEE, WI – Bill Gates addressed the conspiracy theories about the presence of microchips in COVID-19 vaccines by saying people are missing the positive aspects of the hypothetical implanted microchips.
White House Staff Use Cupcakes to Lure Trump to MeetingsPublished October 2019
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to get President Donald Trump to meetings on time White House staff have been using cupcakes tied to strings to lure him into the correct room at the correct time.
Trump Signs Order to Keep Donuts WholePublished September 2018
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A new Executive Order has been signed by President Trump making it illegal for businesses to sell donuts with holes in the middle.
“We are getting ripped off with our donuts. We always have been. It’s Obama’s fault. And Crooked Hillary. And also the fake news media,” said Trump.
Online Reviewer Close to Completing Next Yelp ReviewPublished August 2016
BROOKLYN, NY – It’s been nearly three days since he ate lunch at Ravenwood Tavern, but Tearstin Wilkes says he is close to completing his Yelp review of the restaurant.
Guy In the Cube Over There Has a Great Idea for an AppPublished June 2015
SALEM, OR – The man a couple cubes down is stating that he has a great idea for a mobile application that will make him millions of dollars.