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Zelenskyy Asks Taylor Swift for Help in War Against Russia
Published October 2023KYIV, UKRAINE – Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has formally requested military assistance from the world’s largest army – Taylor Swift’s Swifty Army.
Local Man Reveals He Is A Russian Foreign Policy Expert
Published March 2022BOULDER, CO – Local man, Matt Crellio, has revealed to coworkers that in addition to being an expert in virology he is also an expert in foreign policy with specific focus on Russia.
![The United States and the European Union have blocked access to all Russian made pornography in response to Russia's invasion of Ukraine.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/458t.png)
Sanctions Imposed on Russian Porn After Russian Invasion of Ukraine
Published March 2022NEW YORK, NY – The United States of America and the European Union announced drastic new sanctions against Russia as a result of the war in Ukraine. The sanctions will block the import of any pornography from Russia.
![Gamblers will soon be able to contact athletes directly using sports betting apps.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/455t.png)
Gambling Apps to Allow Users to Contact Athletes
Published February 2022LAS VEGAS, NV – Several of the largest sports betting apps will soon allow users to contact individual athletes directly through the app.
![President Donald Trump has promised Russian President Vladimir Putin Alaska will be returned to Russia.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/382t.png)
Trump Announces Plan to Return Alaska to Russia
Published November 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump released a statement late last evening indicating that the United States of America will return ownership of Alaska to Russia.
![President Trump stands with his bicycle as he demands that the training wheels be removed.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/372t.png)
Trump Demands Training Wheels Be Removed From His Bike
Published June 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump is demanding that the training wheels be removed from his bicycle as he is “a big boy that can ride a bike like a big boy.”
![The Donald Trump Presidency's historically bad ratings may lead networks to cancel the show before the end of the current season.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/362t.png)
Poor Rating May Force Networks to Cancel The Donald Trump Presidency
Published January 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – If ratings don’t improve network executives say they may be forced to cancel The Donald Trump Presidency.
U.S. Government Hosting Extensive Black Friday Sale
Published October 2018WASHINGTON, DC – The United States Government has announced a Black Friday sale where parts of the government will be available for purchase at sharply reduced prices.
![President Trump has spent the last several weeks planning a world-wide trick-or-treat route that will ensure he gets high quality candy.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/352t.png)
Trump Spent Months Planning Tick-or-Treat Route
Published October 2018WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has spent the last several weeks planning a trick-or-treat route to ensure he gets “only the best” candy on Halloween.
“Trump has made it clear that his number one priority right now is putting together a trick-or-treat route that will ensure he gets good candy, like full candy bars or really expensive candy,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
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Woman Colludes with Russians to Ruin Ex-Boyfriends Birthday
Published August 2018CONWAY, AR – A local woman has been arrested for allegedly conspiring with Russian agents to ruin her ex-boyfriend’s birthday.
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