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![Mike Velenski spent much of his time at recent holiday parties explaining that he purchased his Tesla prior to learning Elon Musk is a dipshit.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/518t.png)
Local Man Spends Holiday Parties Explaining When He Purchased His Tesla
Published January 2024SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.
![Santa Claus has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/482t.png)
Santa Claus Switches Sleigh from Reindeer Power to Electric Power
Published December 2022NORTH POLE – To help offset his carbon footprint, Santa Claus has announced that he has converted his sleigh from reindeer power to electric power.
![Jacob Gregory has successfully mentioned that he owns a Tesla in every conversation he's had since purchasing a Tesla.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/432t.png)
Tesla Owner Successfully Mentions He Owns a Tesla in Every Conversation
Published April 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.
![Texas has passed a new law requiring all Texas residents to generate their own power.](https://thescoopnews.com/news/images/425t.png)
Texas to Begin Requiring Residents to Generate Their Own Power
Published March 2021DALLAS, TX – After recent winter storms almost completely destroyed Texas’ power grid, the Texas state government has passed a law requiring all residents to generate their own power.
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