Santa Claus Being Treated for COVID with Treatment Including Souls of Children
Published December 2020NORTH POLE – After testing positive for COVID-19, Santa Claus has been receiving a controversial new treatment that includes the souls of 450 children, among other ingredients, to help Claus recover from the deadly disease.
Trump Wearing Home-made Toilet Paper Sash, Crown
Published March 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has begun wearing a hand-made sash and a paper crown around the White House as well as some official events.
No Matter What Local Woman Gets for Valentine's Day She Will Not Do the Thing Her Husband Wants Her to Do
Published February 2020SAN ANTONIO, TX – Local woman, Vanessa Perez, told friends that no matter what she gets for Valentine’s Day, she “won’t do that thing” her husband wants her to do.
Trump Gets Tongue Stuck to Frozen Metal Pole
Published January 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump required assistance this week after getting his tongue stuck to a metal pole in the White House rose garden.
Trump Gives White House Staff His Christmas List Catalogs
Published December 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has given cabinet members and White House staff his “Christmas list” in the form of Sears catalogs with a number of circled items.
White House Staff Use Cupcakes to Lure Trump to Meetings
Published October 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to get President Donald Trump to meetings on time White House staff have been using cupcakes tied to strings to lure him into the correct room at the correct time.
Trump Gets Hand Stuck in Candy Jar
Published September 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has had his hand stuck in a candy jar for over two days but he is refusing help and refusing to acknowledge that his hand is stuck.
Texan Testing Canadian's Patience
Published August 2019VANCOUVER, BC – A tourist from Texas is testing a Canadian waiter’s patience and politeness.
Trump Says He is Close to Finishing Sudoku Puzzle
Published July 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several months of working on the same Sudoku puzzle, President Trump stated that he is close to finishing the two-by-two puzzle.
White People Plan Protest to Regain Privilege
Published August 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – Thousands of middle-aged white people have scheduled a protest next month in Washington, D.C. to bring focus to the diminishing value of their white privilege.