RICHMOND, VA – During a conversation held near the coffee maker, Joan Diaz’s coworker Melissa Krawski revealed that she had once engaged in a three-way sexual encounter with a midget and a pre-operation transsexual. Diaz reportedly tried to steer the conversation away from talk of the threesome but the attempt proved futile.

“My dear God. Wait, you know what? After listening to that crazy bitch talk, I know that there is no God. There can’t be. Not with the stuff that she said. And if there is a God, I don’t want any part of something that would let shit like that happen down here. I mean come on! She fucked a midget and a guy that wants to be a girl. What the fuck?” said Diaz. “There’s only one word that describes something like that. Tofuckedly. Totally fucked, really. That’s all I can say about it.”

While Diaz’s reaction was strong, Krawski does not feel that she crossed the friend-to-friend information line.

“I have no idea what (Diaz’s) problem is,” Krawski. “All I did was tell someone who I thought was my friend about a very special time in my life. I sat there and listened while she told the story of her engagement, and that was special to her. I felt it was my turn and she freaked out. And to think, I was about to tell her about the time me and my boyfriend went and picked up a hooker, then took turns pooping on her. Then we gave her the old Alaskan Torpedo. Then we stiffed her. Now that was a magical evening. But I figured that it was a little too racy.”

Krawski’s experience, which included tying the midget to a ironing board with licorice whips and allowing the pre-op transsexual to both give and receive spankings from a whiffle ball bat, upset Diaz so much she immediately ran into the bathroom to wash her hands.

“I tried… I tried so hard to get rid of the dirty but it wouldn’t go away. When she told me where the midget stuck the vacuum hose I almost threw up. I will never sleep again,” said Diaz.

This marks the first time Krawski has revealed anything about her sexlife to Diaz and all of the previous conversations between the two had revolved around the television show “The Bachelorette.”

“Yeah most of the time we just talked about that show and how hot some of the guys are… I just really thought we getting close I guess,” said Krawski. “I didn’t mean to freak her out… in fact, I was hoping I’d turn her on a little ‘cus she is a really good looking girl. I know a Russian Mob guy with one hand that would love to meet her.”