TUCSON, AZ – Friends of local man Jay Ralllan have committed to no longer inviting him to any social event or gathering until he learns to put down his fucking phone.

“I swear to go, Jay getting that fucking phone is the worst thing that has ever happened to him,” said Rallen’s friend Carl Latrick. “All he does now is sit there and check twitter or Facebook or whatever the else he checks every two seconds. We’ll all be sitting there at dinner having a conversation and he’ll just be starring at his phone reading some bullshit that doesn’t matter. I guess I’d feel better about it if he was texting a woman or something but he isn’t.”

About six months ago Rallan purchased a new cellphone that allows him to connect to the internet and read updates made to several of the most popular social network sites.