Snowstorm Forces Man to Reevaluate His Relationship

EUGENE, OR – A recent snowstorm has forced a local man to think about how much he really like the woman he is currently dating.


Local Man’s Life Validated by Appearance on Jumbotron

DENVER, CO – A lifetime of silliness was validated last week when local man Christopher Meens finally appeared on the Jumbotron during a Colorado Avalanche hockey game.


Kenny Drew is still showing off his Segway.

Local Man Still Showing Off His Segway

LONG BEACH, CA – Despite a steep decline in sales and popularity, local man Kenny Drew sill shows off his Segway at every opportunity.


Man Will Take Down Christmas Lights When He Feels Like It

MODESTO, CA – Local Man Dennis Clarke has told his family, friends and neighbors that he’ll take down his fucking Christmas lights when he fucking feels like it.


Jesse Guentert has promised his friends that he will not get drunk at the New Year's Eve party.

Man Promises to Not Get Too Drunk at New Year’s Eve Party

MIDDLETON, WI – Local man Jesse Guentert has told his friends that he will try to drink only a small amount of alcohol at their New Year’s Eve party.


Local Man Making Fewer Online Threats

SAN BERNADINO, CA – Blaming his new job and other social obligations, local internet user Jerod Franklin said he no longer has the time or energy to post as many violent threats per day as he did six months ago.


Local Man Pulls Life Support From Wife in Pinterest Coma

BISMARCK, ND – After months of debating, soul searching and consulting with family members, local man Dean Weebers has decided to pull his wife, who is in a Pinterest coma, of life support.


Local Man a Soccer Fan All of a Sudden

LOUISVILLE, KY – Even though he barely understands the rules and has seen only parts of five different games, local man Fred Neal considers himself a soccer fan.


Man Makes Resolution with No Intent to Keep It

PINE BLUFF, AR – Local man James Freeny made a New Year’s resolution that he never intended to keep.


Local Man Won’t Stop Talking About “Doctor Who”

AUSTIN, TX – Local man Justin Neeley will not stop talking about the television show “Doctor Who” despite the fact his friends and family are no longer willing to listen to him.


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