Qanon Revealed to be Mountain Dew Marketing Campaign

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.


Baby Yoda Apologizes for Past, Controversial Tweets

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Baby Yoda is facing backlash and condemnation for a serious of controversial tweets the actor made in 2014 regarding suspected sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.


Experts Offer Tips to Keep School Kids Covid-19 Free

ATLANTA, GA – As children across the country return to school concerns of exposure to and spread of COVID-19 have parents worried about their family’s safety.


Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden is taking dance lessons to learn the Macarena.

Biden Learning Macarena to Appeal to Latino Youth Voters

WILMINGTON, DE – Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been taking dance lessons to learn the Macarena in an effort to appeal to America’s Latino youth.


Trump has started wearing masks that his staff told him are made from porn star’s used underwear.

Trump Wears Mask after Staff Insist It’s Made from Porn Star’s Used Underwear

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to persuade President Trump to wear a mask, White House officials told the president his masks are made from used underwear previously worn by porn stars.


Local Woman Redecorates Room Before Video Call

LAKEWOOD, CO – Local woman, Jenny McDavid, has spent the last four hours rearranging her office to ensure attendees on a video conference think McDavid has her shit together.


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Trump Gives White House Staff His Christmas List Catalogs

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has given cabinet members and White House staff his “Christmas list” in the form of Sears catalogs with a number of circled items.


An Instagram influencer poses above a lake of fire in Hell.

Hell Offering Incentives to Social Media Influencers

HELL – In an effort to increase its public perception, Hell has begun offering social media influencers incentives for promoting Hell.


To make sure President Trump is where he needs to be, White House staffers have begun using a cupcake tied to a string to lure him the right place at the right time.

White House Staff Use Cupcakes to Lure Trump to Meetings

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to get President Donald Trump to meetings on time White House staff have been using cupcakes tied to strings to lure him into the correct room at the correct time.


Archaeologists Discover First-Known Dick Pic

SANTIAGO, CHILE – Archaeologists working outside of Santiago have discovered what they believe is the first known instance of a “dick pic.”


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