Party Goers Not Sure If That Guy by the Closet Is Racist

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GREENSBORO, NC – Several attendees of a recent birthday party were left wondering if the man standing over by the hall closet was racist.

After a brief conversation with the man standing over by the hall closet, party attendee Racheal Tweedy told other party goers that the man standing over by the hall closet might be racist.

“I talked to him for a couple minutes as I was getting some chips and he didn’t say anything overtly racist but what he did say kinda made me think that he might be racist,” said Tweedy. “I didn’t even engage him. I was standing there and he said something about the neighborhood and how much safer it is now that all the young white people have moved here. It’s not like what he said was outright racist but I kinda think that he meant that this neighborhood is a lot safer now that more white people live here. If he’s racist or not, doesn’t really matter because I’m not going to talk to him anymore. Not that I would have anyway because he was a total uggo, but you know what I mean.”

Another party goer had an earlier interaction with the man standing over by the hall closet that may or may not have been racist in nature.

“I saw him kinda standing there alone with no one to talk to, so I figured I’d throw the guy a bone, you know?” said Peter Wynas. “So I introduced myself to him and at first he was nice and mellow but then suddenly the guy starts going off on health care and how this country would be better off if we just let all of ‘them’ die. I’m not sure who he was referring to when he said ‘them’ but I’m pretty sure he meant minorities or at least a specific minority. I suppose he could have been talking about terminally ill people that would like to die with the help of a physician instead of continuing to suffer but I doubt it. I think he had someone specific in mind. It was too direct. Either way I decided that I was not going to go anywhere near that guy for the rest of the night.”

Throughout the course of the evening at least six people at the party were made uncomfortable by conversations with the man standing over by the hall closet.

“I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t do anything. I mean I barely know the guy,” said party host Bryn Boyce. “He works at my office and he heard me talking to someone else about the party and he got really excited about coming. Of course I felt bad for him so I went ahead and threw him an invite. I barely talk to the guy at the office so I didn’t realize that he might possibly be a raging racist. I guess you learn something new every day.”

The man standing over by the hall closet, identified as Bruce, spent the entire party standing by the hall closet looking at his phone, rarely talking to others. Many witnesses said that he would only engage in conversation when someone else started it.

“Yeah, I don’t know, maybe it was a bad idea that I invited him,” said Boyce. “I didn’t even talk to him. I was on the other side of the house trying to work my mojo on Debbie, you know, trying to see if she would at least give me a handy. But then I started hearing all of these people talking about the creepy dude by the closet and I just didn’t want anything to do with that. I wanted a handy, not a bunch of drama.”

Since the party, none has spoken with the man standing by the hall closet.


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