AMHERST, MA – Local man Aiden Toews has made it clear to all attendees at the party that he is willing to spend several hours explaining why the Beach Boys album Pet Sounds is “the best album ever made.”

DETROIT, MI – Local man Eric Blumenthal has changed his political beliefs from Democrat to far right-wing Conservative after receiving some negative feedback on a recent performance review.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republican Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance has been revealed to be an artificial intelligence generated person.

CHARLOTTE, NC – A company team building event that was intended to focus on staff unity and communication, quickly turned to be all about Accounts Receivable Accountant Sheryl Lekhonen.

SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.

LINCOLN, NE – Local man, Dean Jeffries, is looking forward to sharing his thoughts and views on the Israel-Hamas war with his coworkers at the upcoming office holiday party.

LOS ANGELES, CA –With inflation and corporate greed raising costs of most goods, putting together a Halloween costume on a budget is a high priority for many this year.

WASHINGTON, DC – After the positive reactions to the Student Loan Debt cancelation, President Joe Biden announced a new plan to forgive up to $100 in I.O.U.s.

NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.

NEW YORK, NY – Brooks Brothers has unveiled a new line of clothes designed for men who work from home but still want to present themselves as professional on video conference calls.