JEFFERSON PARISH, LA – A local filmmaker is growing more frustrated as people continue to ignore his film which he posted on the YouTube over a month ago.

NEWARK, DE – The American Association of Psychologists has voted to add several new addictions to the accepted resource for mental illness, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

COLUMBIA, SC – Manufacturers of a new foot-care product are hoping to revolutionize the Podiatric Medicine industry with the launch of the PediFile.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Despite expectations to the contrary, the recent purchase of an Apple iPhone has left Geoffrey Glocke’s life relatively unchanged.

CHERRY HILL, NJ – Scientists working with Gene-O-Topic have made a breakthrough in the fight against Douche Bag Disease by identifying and tracing a key genetic sequence. The discovery may lead to a possible cure and the elimination of the disease all together.
Douche Bag Disease has infected more than 400 million men in this country and is the leading cause of spiked hair, sleeveless shirts and Nickelback enjoyment among men ages 12 to 65.

PORTLAND, OR – The latest application from Google, code named “Blue Screen,” has the entire tech industry on edge as rumors persist that the application will revolutionize modern computing.
“The technology at work here is astonishingly sophisticated. It’s unlike anything the world has ever seen,” said Google CEO Eric Schmidt. “ “This (Blue Screen) will literally reach through your screen and slap you in the face. Well, not literally.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to stop the increase of states allowing gay marriage, senior Republican Senators and Christian leaders have adopted a new tactic.

AUSTIN, TX – In one of the most awkward moments of either of their lives, Deston Laremy and his father, Walt Laremy, discussed sex.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – A humorous story related to coworkers by Philip Canseco has been generally regarded as a waste of everyone’s time. The story was about two men in Los Angeles on their way to a basketball game at the Staples Center but accidentally go first to the Great Western Forum.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Friends and family of Jesus Christ are confirming recent internet reports that the Christian icon has converted to Scientology. The shift in religious philosophy has come as a shock to Christians all over the world.