ATLANTA, GA – As children across the country return to school concerns of exposure to and spread of COVID-19 have parents worried about their family’s safety.

HILO, HI – Astronomers at the W. M. Keck Observatory have discovered a planet capable of supporting life orbiting a nearby star that humans could “definitely ruin.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House staffer has been fired for suggesting President Donald Trump stop licking and “doing blowfishes” on the White House windows.

WILMINGTON, DE – As the coronavirus pandemic continues, DuPont is releasing a new line of personal protective equipment called buBBle which the company says is intended for every day, home, personal use.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has begun wearing a hand-made sash and a paper crown around the White House as well as some official events.

AUSTIN, TX –Despite numerous reminders of its existence, friends of local man Cameron Gluick have still not listened to Gluick’spodcast.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump required assistance this week after getting his tongue stuck to a metal pole in the White House rose garden.

GLENDALE, AZ – After being visited by three ghosts, local businessman Walter Bandict, has announced that he will no longer offer his employees paid time off and medical benefits.

HELL – In an effort to increase its public perception, Hell has begun offering social media influencers incentives for promoting Hell.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several months of working on the same Sudoku puzzle, President Trump stated that he is close to finishing the two-by-two puzzle.