PARKER, CO – Local high school football coach doesn’t like high school athlete Kyle McDavid for no apparent reason.

COLUMBUS, OH – Local woman Rachel Connors will spend the next several weeks mentally preparing herself for Thanksgiving dinner with her family.

SAN BERNADINO, CA – Blaming his new job and other social obligations, local internet user Jerod Franklin said he no longer has the time or energy to post as many violent threats per day as he did six months ago.

BISMARCK, ND – After months of debating, soul searching and consulting with family members, local man Dean Weebers has decided to pull his wife, who is in a Pinterest coma, of life support.

NASHVILLE – Local country singer Johnny Thunder is reportedly having trouble finding a word that rhymes with America that he hasn’t already used.

RENO, NV – A presentation about water conservation was delivered awkwardly to local business owners.

SAN CARLOS, CA – A local couple has expressed concern that they may not be overreacting as much as they should compared to everyone else they know.

RENO, NV – Local football fan Dennis Triollio has quietly and discreetly changed his favorite football team in the last several days from the Denver Broncos to the Seattle Seahawks.

OMAHA, NE – Local grand mother, Cheryl Gilchrist, has been patiently waiting the riches promised in a chain letter she sent to 10 friends 25 years ago.

DALLAS, TX – Local 10-year-old Jacob Entwhurst has informed his parents that he may have contracted Ebola that he should be quarantined for the next month.