Networks Announce New Fall Television Shows
Published October 2012HOLLYWOOD, CA – With Fall settling over North America, television networks have begun rolling out their Fall lineups, offering new shows and reboots of past shows.
KFC Geneticists Developing All-Skin Chicken
Published August 2012LOUISVILLE, KY – A Public Relations spokesman for KFC confirmed rumors that company scientists are working to genetically engineer an all-skin chicken for the fast food chain.
Trainer Keeps Talking About Personal Issues
Published July 2012FREDERICK, VA – Attendees of a current training course for Food and Drug Administration Inspectors agree that the trainer of the course has spent far too much time discussing personal issues.
Experts: Violence in Syria Probably Has a Simple Cause
Published February 2012DAMASCUS, SYRIA – As the blood shed continues in Syria, experts on Middle East politics have begun to identify a number of possible reasons for the escalation in violence.
In Face of Shortage, FDA Offers Turkey Alternatives
Published October 2011ATLANTA, GA – In the wake of a national shortage of turkeys, the FDA in conjunction with the American Farmers Association has released a list of turkey alternatives for the upcoming holiday season.
Protestors Call for Mayor McCheese to Step Down
Published February 2011MCDONALD CITY, MCDONALDLAND- Violence has escalated in the capital city of McDonaldland as millions have taken to the streets protesting the government and calling for the removal of Mayor McCheese.
“McCheese is a monster and he must go!” said protester Patty McHambuerger. “We will not stand behind him anymore! Someone should eat his face!”
Twitter Becoming Too Much Work for Comedian
Published January 2011LOS ANGELES, CA – Comedian Steven Yips says he is may delete his Twitter account as the pressure to post humorous updates to Twitter is consuming his free time.
Mexican Restaurant Near Alamo Causes Outrage
Published August 2010SAN ANTONIO, TX – Over the past weekend, thousands rallied in San Antonio to protest plans to open a new Mexican restaurant within blocks of the Alamo.
The protests began after Rubio’s Fresh Mexican Grill submitted plans to the city of San Antonio for a new location close to the Alamo.
In 1836 the Alamo was the site of a bloody battle during the Texas Revolution in which over 250 Texans were killed.
Arizona Will Open Camps to Sort Illegal, Legal Hispanics
Published May 2010GLENDALE, AZ – The state legislature of Arizona has authorized opening several camps where officials will be able to distinguish which Hispanic-looking people are here illegally.
Long John Silver’s Buys Oil, Fish in Gulf of Mexico
Published May 2010NEW ORLEANS, LA – American fast food company Long John Silver’s has secured exclusive fishing rights in the Gulf of Mexico as it hopes to capitalize on the recent oil spill. The company is hoping to both make a substantial profit from “already oiled fish” and perhaps remove the oil from the water.
“What we have here is an amazing opportunity,” said Long John Silver’s president Walter Johnson.