McDonald's Cuts Price of Food But Add New Fees
Published October 2024CHICAGO, IL – In response to complaints about high prices, McDonald’s announced plans to reduce the price of menu items but add new service fees.
New Dodge Minivans Will Come with French Fries Already Underneath Seats
Published May 2024DETROIT, MI – Automobile manufacturer Dodge has announced an update to its popular Caravan minivan. Beginning this fall, all new Caravan minivans will come with a French Fry underneath each seat.
Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Spokesbear Diagnosed with Diabetes
Published June 2019DURANGO, CO – The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory spokesbear, Truffles, has announced that she has been diagnosed with diabetes due to a decades-long diet comprised almost exclusively of chocolate.
Trump Staring at Paused TV for Over Three Hours
Published March 2018WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has been sitting in bed, starring at a paused image of the television show “Fox and Friends” for three hours, waiting for the program to continue.
“(Trump) has no idea that the TV is paused. He’s just sitting there watching it, waiting for the people to continue talking,” said head of Trump’s Secret Service detail, Ken Posher. “God, it’s been over three hours now and Trump is just sitting there, in his bed, with his fucking hamburgers, starring at his TV that is paused. Three fucking hours now. Every day we are reminded that Trump is a dumb, dumb man. Historically dumb.”
Trump Confused Why He Can’t Pardon Hamburgler
Published August 2017WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump is confused as to why his repeated attempts to pardon The Hamburgler have been met with resistance.
Scoop List: Top 10 Best Hamburgers in America
Published February 2017The Scoop News has traveled around America tasting every burger in every state, and now we’ve compiled a list of our favorites. Here are The Scoop News’ top 10 burgers in America.
Colorado Opens Weed Themed Amusement Park
Published November 2016DENVER, CO - Thanks to the popularity and profitability of legalized pot, Colorado will soon be getting a new marijuana themed, adult amusement park named Mile High Funtown 420.
“Pot is huge in Colorado so it just makes sense to build on that popularity and open a pot-themed amusement park. And really, when you are high, the only thing you want to do is go to an amusement park. That’s a fact,” said Mile High Funtown 420 CEO, Rebecca Matthews.
“Pot is huge in Colorado so it just makes sense to build on that popularity and open a pot-themed amusement park. And really, when you are high, the only thing you want to do is go to an amusement park. That’s a fact,” said Mile High Funtown 420 CEO, Rebecca Matthews.
Hooters Parent Company Opening New Hospitals
Published November 2015KANSAS CITY, KS – The company behind Hooters is expanding in to healthcare and will soon open a new health care clinic called Breastview Hospital.
Chanticleer Holdings, the company behind Hooters and BT’s Burger Joint, is branching out, beyond hamburgers and wings, as part of a new business strategy to meet customer needs.
Time Machine Bring 15 Republicans Back From 1959
Published April 2012WASHINGTON, DC – Earlier this week temporal scientists announced some good news and some bad news today regarding time travel.
Experts: Violence in Syria Probably Has a Simple Cause
Published February 2012DAMASCUS, SYRIA – As the blood shed continues in Syria, experts on Middle East politics have begun to identify a number of possible reasons for the escalation in violence.
