NEW YORK, NY – If Americans didn’t invent the burger, they certainly have perfected it. The Scoop News has traveled around America tasting every burger in every state, and now we’ve compiled a list of our favorites. Here are The Scoop News’ top 10 burgers in America.

10. The Double Stack with Cheese from the dumpster behind Wendy’s on 82nd Ave, Portland, OR
Great and cheap food found behind fast food restaurants is almost always a good deal. For some reason the Double Stack with Cheese found in the dumpster behind the Wendy’s in Portland, OR, is exceptionally delicious. Maybe it’s the humidity or perhaps it’s the proximity to a crematorium that makes this burger great, but this Wendy’s dumpster should be a stop on any foody’s map.

9. The Mount Rushmore, Earl’s Tavern, Omaha, NB
The burger, made with 100% bison meat, is special because the chefs at Earl’s Tavern take the extra step in shaping the burger to look like the Mount Rushmore monument. Yes this extra feature adds almost two hours to the preparation time but it’s worth it to say you’ve eaten the face of four presidents.

8. The Burger, Devastriola, Los Angeles, CA
This burger is more of an idea than it is an actual burger. The trendy Devastriola restaurant is unique in that there is no food to order, just ideas of food. Waiters bring customers pictures of what the food might look like if it was real. If asked the waiters will describe what it might be like to actually eat the food and when it comes to The Burger we recommend it. It looks and sounds amazing.

7. The Big One, Lone Star Grill and Drinking Place, Dallas, TX
Like a lot of things in Texas, this burger is big. With three two-pound patties, two full onions, 32 slices of cheese, three full tomatoes, seven full pickles, half a jar of mayonnaise, 29 pieces of think-cut bacon, and a single piece of lettuce, this burger will probably kill you. If it doesn’t than think about “double-sizing” the burger next time you visit.

6. Henry’s Burger, Roundhouse, Cedar Rapids, IA
This burger can only be ordered by people named Henry. Since none of us are named Henry and we don’t know anyone named Henry we can only speculate on what this burger tastes like. The menu says the burger is a mixture of elk and bison, topped with a garlic-rosemary aioli, brandied onions, goats milk cheese, and cilantro, served of a brioche bun with duck fat fries.

5. The California, The Grill in the Holiday Inn, Peoria, IL
Putting a California spin on a burger, The Grill in the Holiday Inn has a unique burger. The buns are actually two halves of an eggplant, the patty is made from several different animals including raccoon, and the whole thing is topped with octopus ink. Chef Gabe Fremont said the idea for the burger came to him when he was “high as fuck”.

4. Burger with Cheese, Ligurta, AZ
In order to get this burger you have to drive to the middle of the desert to a mobile home with tin foil covering the windows. Inside you will have a gun pointed at you by a man who may or may not be high on meth. After you calm the man with the gun, you will need to earn his trust by snorting meth. The rest gets a little blurry but you will wake up several days later in the parking lot of Jack-In-The-Box in Blythe, California. You will have several hambuger wrappers scattered around you and you will have a faint memory of eating a “really great fuckin’ hamburger.”

3. Lobster, Rockport, ME
This burger stands out because it isn’t actually a burger, but instead a full lobster tail dinner complete with asparagus and garlic mashed potatoes.

2. The Foie Burger, Pete’s Burgers, Bozeman, MT
The Foie is just that, a burger made entirely out of foie gras. The best thing about the burger though is you the make the foie. French geese are force fed the left over foie burgers, so the burger itself becomes sort of a foie-ception. We recommend you get it with the waffle fries.

1. Burger, Heaven
In order to eat this burger you must be dead. You must also make it to heaven. If you somehow manage to accomplish both those things you will be rewarded with one amazing burger. The patty is made from the face of an angel. The buns are feathers pulled from baby angels. The cheese is cut from the back of female angels. And the burger is topped with a sauce made from saffron and the tears of angels whose lovers were sent to hell.