Coworkers Don't Want to Hear About Man's Dungeons and Dragons Game

The coworkers of Ben Magnerson still do not want to hear about Magnerson’s Dungeons and Dragons game.


Adult Stores Struggle with Inventories as Social Distancing Eases

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Adult stores across the country are dealing with inventory issues as Americans become vaccinated against COVID-19 and the need for social distancing is rapidly decreasing.


None of the attendees have admitting to generating the fart heard during a recent video conference.

Attendees Deny Farting During Video Conference

RICHMOND, VA – None of the attendees on the weekly Dorchester International sales call have accepted responsibility for the audible fart heard during last week’s video conference call.


A drink cup made from fried chicken will soon be available at KFCs nationwide.

KFC Unveils New Drink Cup Made from Chicken

LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.


President Donald Trump has promised Russian President Vladimir Putin Alaska will be returned to Russia.

Trump Announces Plan to Return Alaska to Russia

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump released a statement late last evening indicating that the United States of America will return ownership of Alaska to Russia.


Fans Start Petition to Make Titanic Ending Happier

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Fans of the film Titanic, long unhappy with the ending of the film, have launched a petition to have the ending of the film remade “so it’s happy”.


U.S. Government Hosting Extensive Black Friday Sale

WASHINGTON, DC – The United States Government has announced a Black Friday sale where parts of the government will be available for purchase at sharply reduced prices.


Ken Giacomo, former guitarist for Satan’s Baby Goat Blood Cult, has spent the last several days trying to complete his Linkdin profile.

Former Metal Guitarist Struggling to Update Linkdin Profile

MIDDLETOWN, NJ – Former heavy metal guitarist, Ken “Blood Face” Giacomo, has been updating his Linkdin profile for several days but has been struggling to include his experience as a musician.


Millennials Responsible for Declining Chastity Belt Sales

BOSTON, MA – A sharp decline in the chastity belt industry is being blamed on millennials.


Researchers are studying soccer player's quick recovery from injury.

Researchers Studying Soccer Players’ Injury Recovery

COLUMBUS, OH – Researchers at the Cleveland Clinic are studying soccer players around the world for their unique ability to recover quickly from injury.


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