Government Sells State of Ohio To Google
Published May 2012COLUMBUS, OH – Faced with a budget shortfall and a refusal to raise taxes, the Ohio state government voted to sell the state to Google.
With the shortfall estimated at more than three billion, the Ohio state government was faced with limited options to reduce the deficit.
“We thought about everything, except raising taxes,” said president of the Ohio Senate, Tom Niehaus.
Coworkers Find Office Decorations “Over the Top”
Published November 2011NEWARK, DE – Several employees of CPTB Industries have described the Christmas decorations in a co-workers cubicle as “a little over the top.”
Wisconsin Passes New, Indentured Labor Laws
Published May 2011MADISON, WI – The Wisconsin State Legislature has passed new laws that Governor Scott Walker says will “make the Wisconsin work force more attractive to companies.” The laws will allow companies to pay workers in credit, charge for the use of equipment, and allow companies to chain workers to workstations.
“We’ve ensured that every company will have employees that are… forced to work for them” said Senator Lena Taylor.
IT Guy Referring to Himself in Third Person
Published March 2009BIRMINGHAM, AL – An Information Technology employee at Etraz, Inc. has begun referring to himself in the third person.
Coworkers Saddened by Discovery of Tattoo
Published February 2009PHOENIX, AZ – Coworkers of Jorge Nunez were amazed to find out that the fine, upstanding young man had at least one tattoo.
Co-workers Notice Co-worker's Weight Gain
Published February 2009REDMOND, VA – Employees at Northern Consulting have noticed and begun to comment on a co-workers recent weight gain.
Local Man Not Happy With Nickname
Published February 2009TRENTON, NJ – Car salesman Gerry Traim has voiced disapproval for the nickname he has been assigned by his co-workers. Traim discovered the nickname, Major Ass, when he overheard others discussing his new car.
Area Co-worker Deemed Ugly But "Fuckable"
Published February 2009ENGLEWOOD, CO – Undeterred by a less than attractive facial appearance, John Lewdig, US West Order Coodinator, was classified as “fuckable” by fellow co-worker and single mother Janice Jamison.
Santa Claus Asks Congress For Bailout
Published November 2008WASHINGTON, D.C. – In another bailout request, Santa Claus appeared before Congress this week asking for $45 billion in order to continue operations and ensure “Christmas happens as it should.”
New Mexico Unveils New State Flag, Nickname
Published November 2008SANTE FE, NM – New Mexico Governor, Bill Richardson, has signed legislation approving a change in the New Mexico state flag and state nickname. The current state nickname of “Land of Enchantment” will be replaced with the new motto of “Land of Unending Construction.”