American’s Postpone Flu Shots as Excuse to Miss Thanksgiving
Published November 2018ATLANTA, GA – A large number of people are waiting to get a flu shot until after the Thanksgiving holiday in hopes that they will have an excuse to miss Thanksgiving dinner with their family.
Edward R. Murrow School Renamed to BuzzFeed
Published January 2018SPOKANE, WA – Washington State University announced last week that it will be renaming the Edward R. Murrow College of Communication to BuzzFeed College of Clickbaiting.
PTA President Denies Russian Interference in Election
Published March 2017ANN ARBOR, MI – The president of the Ann Arbor School District Parent Teacher Association is denying allegations that Russia influenced recent PTA elections.
Families Agree to Ignore Last Six Months This Holiday
Published October 2016WASHINGTON, DC – American families have unanimously agreed to ignore the last couple months and just enjoy a quiet thanksgiving dinner.
Student Upset He Didn’t Get Chance to Riot
Published April 2016CHAPEL HILL, NC – Duke University student, Tyson Whitman, has expressed his disappointment and frustration that the Duke University basketball team failed to win the NCAA Basketball Championship, thus eliminating any chance Whitman had a participating an associated riot.
Duke University won the NCAA Basketball Championship in 2015, spurring Whitman to enroll at the university.
Community College Offering Sexuality Classes
Published August 2013PLEASANTVILLE, WISCONSIN – In their monthly newsletter Pleasantville Community College announced the launching of a new curriculum — Vocational Certificate in Careers of Sexuality.
Student Pretty Sure Violence in Egypt a Result of “Not Enough Weed”
Published August 2013
NSA Access Permanent School Records
Published August 2013WASHINGTON, DC – With approval from both Congress and the President, The National Security Agency now has access to every American’s permanent school records.
Every student who attended a school in America has a permanent record that contains information on the student including performance and disciplinary issues.
“We’ve been telling kids for generations that their permanent file will come back to haunt them and now it has,” said Department of Education Secretary, Arne Duncan.
Local Teen to “Take A Year Off” After High School
Published May 2013WAYNESVILLE, IN – Local high school student, Roy Garfield, told his family that after graduation he will not be going to college in the fall and that he plans on just “taking a year off and just relaxing.”
Student Wondering Why Acid Hasn’t Kicked In Yet
Published March 2013BOISE, ID – A local college student is wondering why the acid he took earlier hasn’t kicked in yet.
“I’m starting to kinda freak out about it, you know?” said Blake Harper.
