

Santa Claus Being Treated for COVID with Treatment Including Souls of Children
Published December 2020NORTH POLE – After testing positive for COVID-19, Santa Claus has been receiving a controversial new treatment that includes the souls of 450 children, among other ingredients, to help Claus recover from the deadly disease.

White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for Biden
Published September 2020LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.
God Releases Statement about Coronavirus
Published May 2020
Attendees Deny Farting During Video Conference
Published May 2020RICHMOND, VA – None of the attendees on the weekly Dorchester International sales call have accepted responsibility for the audible fart heard during last week’s video conference call.

Melania Trump Extends Physical Distancing Within the White House to 100 Feet
Published April 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Melania Trump is calling for expanded physical distancing, specifically within the White House, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.

Local Man Struggling to Explain Why Vinyl Records are Better Than Digital Music
Published February 2020OMAHA, NB – A local man has spent the last several hours trying, with limited success, to explain to his friend why listening to music on a vinyl record is better than streaming online.

White House Staff Forget to Plug In Pence Before Long Weekend
Published December 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – Vice President Mike Pence has been sent to a maintenance shop after aides forgot to plug the Vice President in to a power source before the long holiday vacation.

Family Photo Ruined by Ugly Baby
Published November 2019DALLAS, TX – The Stevenson family Christmas photo was ruined by the presence of an ugly baby.

Trump Gives White House Staff His Christmas List Catalogs
Published December 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has given cabinet members and White House staff his “Christmas list” in the form of Sears catalogs with a number of circled items.
Fans Start Petition to Make Titanic Ending Happier
Published August 2019HOLLYWOOD, CA – Fans of the film Titanic, long unhappy with the ending of the film, have launched a petition to have the ending of the film remade “so it’s happy”.