SAN FRANCISCO, CA – To incentivize reluctant employees to return to the office, companies are offering new in-office only perks like on-site clowns, monthly balloon parties, new glory holes, and free shrimp cocktail.

NEW YORK, NY – A mixed group of Millennials and Gen-Xers were shocked this week to learn that MTV is still on the air and broadcasting new content.

PORTLAND, OR – Local man, Scott Hackerst, is pretty sure he can sell a bowling shirt he found at his uncle’s house for $80.

NEW YORK, NY – Following the success of the “Manning Cast” for NFL games, ESPN will be launching a new live commentary option for professional sporting events featuring drunk, racist uncles.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed changes to the funding of the infrastructure bill.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.

LOS ANGELES, CA – A local Pasadena man is still wearing a fedora hat in publi

CHICAGO, IL – In a new survey of children ages five to 15, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.