IRVINE, CA – Taco Bell will be rolling out a new menu item this month consisting of a handful of meat, cheese, and lettuce rolled into a ball. Taco Bell “chefs” are calling the new creation El Wado.

SALEM, OR – After almost five years of waiting, local man James Beal, 29, has announced that the new video game, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK), has not made his life complete.

SPOKANE, WA – A local mother has begun preparing herself for the inevitable disappointment of Mother’s Day.

NEW YORK, NY –After the recent ousting of longtime anchor Tucker Carlson, Fox News has committed to interviewing a diverse group of white men to replace the former host.

TORONTO, CANADA – For the 57th consecutive year, the Toronto Maple Leafs will not play in the Super Bowl, frustrating a dedicated and passionate fan base.

PORTLAND, OR – A local 22-year-old woman admits she did not vote in the recent election despite having every intention of doing so.

BELLEVUE, WA – Amazon warehouse workers across the country will be receiving a special bonus this holiday season in the form of one extra adult diaper.

COLUMBUS, OH – The restaurant and sports bar chain Buffalo Wild Wings will be making a major change to all existing locations over the next six months, replacing all chairs and barstools with continuous flow toilets.

LOS ANGELES, CA –With inflation and corporate greed raising costs of most goods, putting together a Halloween costume on a budget is a high priority for many this year.

WASHINGTON, DC – After the positive reactions to the Student Loan Debt cancelation, President Joe Biden announced a new plan to forgive up to $100 in I.O.U.s.