Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone
Published May 2022NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.
Lifting Mask Mandates Makes It Difficult to Identify Jerks
Published March 2022DENVER, CO – As mask mandates across the country are lifted, many Americans are finding it more difficult to identify jerks.
God Apologizes for Leaving His Kids in Charge Last Seven Years
Published March 2022HEAVEN – After returning from vacation and seeing the state of Earth, God has promised to never again put his kids in charge while he is away.
Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Make a White Man Uncomfortable
Published April 2022AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Greg Abbott has signed a new law that makes it illegal to make a white man feel uncomfortable in any way.
Local Man Reveals He Is A Russian Foreign Policy Expert
Published March 2022BOULDER, CO – Local man, Matt Crellio, has revealed to coworkers that in addition to being an expert in virology he is also an expert in foreign policy with specific focus on Russia.
New Swiffer Lets People Clean Using Their Pets
Published February 2022CINCINNATI, OH – Procter & Gamble has released a new version of the Swiffer Sweeper that attaches to small animals and will allow customers to use their pets to clean floors.
Brooks Brothers Releases New Work From Home Line
Published February 2022NEW YORK, NY – Brooks Brothers has unveiled a new line of clothes designed for men who work from home but still want to present themselves as professional on video conference calls.
Local Man Confident He Can Sell Bowling Shirt for $80
Published January 2022PORTLAND, OR – Local man, Scott Hackerst, is pretty sure he can sell a bowling shirt he found at his uncle’s house for $80.
Country Singer Considering Using N-word to Boost Album Sales
Published January 2022NASHVILLE, TN – Country singer Glenn Coventry is considering posting a video of himself using the N-word to boost record sales for his new album.
Gambling Apps to Allow Users to Contact Athletes
Published February 2022LAS VEGAS, NV – Several of the largest sports betting apps will soon allow users to contact individual athletes directly through the app.
