

Local 22-Year-Old Was Definitely Going to Vote but Like… Stuff Came Up
Published October 2022PORTLAND, OR – A local 22-year-old woman admits she did not vote in the recent election despite having every intention of doing so.

Local Man Still Wearing Fedora For Some Reason
Published August 2021LOS ANGELES, CA – A local Pasadena man is still wearing a fedora hat in publi

Biden Removes Mask at Inauguration to Reveal Hillary Clinton
Published February 2021WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.

Trump Hiding from Staff in White House
Published December 2020WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.

Qanon Revealed to be Mountain Dew Marketing Campaign
Published October 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.

White, Suburban Woman Still Considering Excuses to Not Vote for Biden
Published September 2020LANSING, MI – Local white, suburban, mother, Lisa Huller, is still considering several different excuses to not vote for the Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden.

Biden Learning Macarena to Appeal to Latino Youth Voters
Published August 2020WILMINGTON, DE – Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been taking dance lessons to learn the Macarena in an effort to appeal to America’s Latino youth.

Trump Wears Mask after Staff Insist It’s Made from Porn Star’s Used Underwear
Published August 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to persuade President Trump to wear a mask, White House officials told the president his masks are made from used underwear previously worn by porn stars.

Trump Says He is Close to Finishing Sudoku Puzzle
Published July 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several months of working on the same Sudoku puzzle, President Trump stated that he is close to finishing the two-by-two puzzle.
Person In Charge Of Road Trip Music Doing a Shitty Job
Published May 2019LITTLE ROCK, AR – Nearly all passengers in a minivan headed towards the Atlantic coast have complained about the music selections made during the road trip.
