NEW YORK, NY –After the recent ousting of longtime anchor Tucker Carlson, Fox News has committed to interviewing a diverse group of white men to replace the former host.

WASHINGTON, DC – After the positive reactions to the Student Loan Debt cancelation, President Joe Biden announced a new plan to forgive up to $100 in I.O.U.s.

TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.

CORPUS CHRISTI, TX – A teenager on vacation with his family announced that he will just stay in the room, alone, while the rest of the family goes to a hotel pool.

MANCHESTER, NH –William “Dow” Jones announced that he is coming out of a month’s long depression and plans to “get really, really high” soon.

SACREMENTO, CA – As the drought continues, the state government of California has issued new laws and policies to conserve water and reduce strain on rivers and aquifers.

OAKLAND, CA – In response to the growing number of niche dating websites, two new sites have started the debate of how specific is too specific.

LOS ANGELES, CA– A recent encounter between a lonely housewife and pool guy ended awkwardly with very little sexual tension and no intercourse.

BOSTON, MA – A recent sociological study out of the Harvard University has concluded that 83% percent of Irish people are alcoholics.

SANTA FE, NM – Christians are flocking to Santa Fe, to see what some are saying is the image of Jesus Christ that has appeared in a painting of Jesus Christ.