"U-S-A" Chant to Replace "Star Spangled Banner"
Published February 2002WASHINGTON D.C. – Beginning later this month, Americans will be singing a different tune. With new legislature proposed by President Bush, the current National Anthem is set to be replaced by a more patriotic and inspiring chant.
Jesus Sues Mormons Over Name
Published February 2001SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Jesus Christ revealed earlier this week his intentions of pursuing legal action against the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for illegal use of his name and image. Although speculation has been rampant for months, Christ made the decision public during a benefit for St. Luke’s Memorial Hospital Children’s Burn Ward.
War Erupts Between Resident, HOA
Published January 2001IRVING, TX – Seemingly overnight, the once quite neighborhood of Willow Estates has erupted in violence as the Willow Estates Home Owners Association has declared war on a small band of rebels led by resident Richard Sterty. Tensions have been escalating in the area since Sterty’s arrival 6 months ago and have now reached a boiling point.
Alex Rodriguez Buys Vermont
Published December 2000MONTPELIER, VT – Alex Rodriguez, all-star shortstop and who recently signed a lucrative $252 million contract with the Texas Rangers, has agreed to purchase the state of Vermont for approximately $75 million in cash and 11 autographed baseballs.
God Unhappy with Human Beings
Published November 1999AUSTIN, TX – In a surprise address to the Austin Texas Hog Farmers Association, God the Almighty appeared in front of human eyes for the first time in centuries, and condemned the human race for what he described as “the relentless overpopulation and blatant destruction of thy most beautiful creation, the Earth.”