Terry Cooke says that on any given day his childhood is ruined 12 to 13 times.

Local Man Has His Childhood Ruined 13 Times a Day

CHARLOTTE, NC – Local man Terry Cooke, 46, says he has had his childhood ruined 12 to 13 times a day for the past several years.


Several new image filters have been added to the iPhone that are designed to edit and enhance dick pics - including adding small hats to the dick.

Apple Adds New iPhone Image Filters for Dick Pics

SAN FRANCISCO, CA –Apple has announced it will soon add new photo filters specifically designed for dick pics.


Mike Velenski spent much of his time at recent holiday parties explaining that he purchased his Tesla prior to learning Elon Musk is a dipshit.

Local Man Spends Holiday Parties Explaining When He Purchased His Tesla

SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.


Reporter Denise Holman lazily scrolls through Tik Tok as she waits for a new trend to appear.

Local Reporter Sitting Around Waiting for Next Tik Tok Trend to Appear

PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.


Twitter to Ban Hate Speech Aimed at Rich People

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of increasing hate speech on the platform, Twitter has announced it will begin blocking hate speech directed at rich people.


According to costume designers, a simple and fun Ha,lloween costume idea is to dress up as Critical Race Theory, or CRT.

Experts Offer Tips for Cheap, Fun, and Scary Halloween Costumes

LOS ANGELES, CA –With inflation and corporate greed raising costs of most goods, putting together a Halloween costume on a budget is a high priority for many this year.


A white, middle-aged man listens to music made in the 1960s.

White, Middle-aged Men Upset with Recent 500 Best Songs List

LOS ANGELES, CA – Middle-aged, white men across the country are expressing their anger with an entertainment magazine’s recent list of the 500 best songs of all time.


Social Media Companies to Allow Users to Opt-Out of Becoming Racist

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of social and political pressure, social media companies will soon begin offering an option that will allow users to decline becoming racist.


This image of a turquoise flag has angered several Star Wars fans.

Star Wars Fans Upset New Film Will Include Color Turquoise

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Recently released images from the upcoming Star Wars film, The Rise of Skywalker, have angered a number of Star Wars fans who are upset the film will include the color turquoise.


A recent photo of Truffles the bear who has lost 250 pounds after being diagnosed with diabetes.

Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Spokesbear Diagnosed with Diabetes

DURANGO, CO – The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory spokesbear, Truffles, has announced that she has been diagnosed with diabetes due to a decades-long diet comprised almost exclusively of chocolate.


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