Local Man Has His Childhood Ruined 13 Times a Day
Published October 2024CHARLOTTE, NC – Local man Terry Cooke, 46, says he has had his childhood ruined 12 to 13 times a day for the past several years.
Apple Adds New iPhone Image Filters for Dick Pics
Published November 2024SAN FRANCISCO, CA –Apple has announced it will soon add new photo filters specifically designed for dick pics.
Local Man Spends Holiday Parties Explaining When He Purchased His Tesla
Published January 2024SEATTLE, WA – A local Tesla owner, Mike Velenski, spent a large portion of recent holiday parties explaining to family and coworkers that he purchased the vehicle before finding out Elon Musk is a complete dipshit.
Local Reporter Sitting Around Waiting for Next Tik Tok Trend to Appear
Published October 2023PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.
Twitter to Ban Hate Speech Aimed at Rich People
Published January 2023SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of increasing hate speech on the platform, Twitter has announced it will begin blocking hate speech directed at rich people.
Experts Offer Tips for Cheap, Fun, and Scary Halloween Costumes
Published September 2022LOS ANGELES, CA –With inflation and corporate greed raising costs of most goods, putting together a Halloween costume on a budget is a high priority for many this year.
White, Middle-aged Men Upset with Recent 500 Best Songs List
Published October 2021LOS ANGELES, CA – Middle-aged, white men across the country are expressing their anger with an entertainment magazine’s recent list of the 500 best songs of all time.
Social Media Companies to Allow Users to Opt-Out of Becoming Racist
Published May 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – After months of social and political pressure, social media companies will soon begin offering an option that will allow users to decline becoming racist.
Star Wars Fans Upset New Film Will Include Color Turquoise
Published October 2019HOLLYWOOD, CA – Recently released images from the upcoming Star Wars film, The Rise of Skywalker, have angered a number of Star Wars fans who are upset the film will include the color turquoise.
Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Spokesbear Diagnosed with Diabetes
Published June 2019DURANGO, CO – The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory spokesbear, Truffles, has announced that she has been diagnosed with diabetes due to a decades-long diet comprised almost exclusively of chocolate.