Trump Finishes Coloring American Flag Picture
Published June 2018WASHINGTON, DC – After working on it for a year and a half, President Donald Trump has finished coloring the first page of his Presidential Coloring book.
Physicians Giving Surgeries Happier Sounding Names
Published January 2018WASHINGTON, DC – Several phsyicians have proposed a sweeping review of all medical procedure names with the possibility of renaming those procedures to “something a little happier.”
Ten Ways to Make Yourself More Efficient at Work
Published September 2017SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With the job market becoming increasingly competitive, being a good employee that works hard and works efficiently is more important than ever.
EPA: Renewable Energy Causes 104,412 Illnesses
Published September 2017“(The EPA) just published a ground breaking report that clearly shows that the renewable energy that the Democrats have been pushing on us for so long is actually the cause of almost every illness that’s out there,” said EPA spokesman Frank Servees.
Are These Eight ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi Rumors’ True?
Published August 2017HOLLYWOOD, CA – The new installment of the Star Wars franchise, Episode VIII, ‘The Last Jedi,’ is still several months away from hitting theaters but rumors about the plot have started hitting the internet.
Trump Wants to Meet General Tso about Chicken
Published May 2017“I told China, let me talk to this General Tso guy. I want to talk to him about his chicken. It’s very good chicken and I’d like to talk to him. That’s what I told China. I’m very good at telling China things,” said Trump.
Trump had Spinach Stuck in Teeth for Two Weeks
Published March 2017WASHINGTON, D.C. – For more than two weeks, President Donald Trump has had a piece of spinach stuck in his teeth and it remains unclear if he knows that it’s there.
Trump Confused by Paper Towel Dispenser
Published March 2017“Apparently Trump, who let’s face it, is a dumb, dumb man, hasn’t used a manual paper towel dispenser before and was really confused,” said White House custodian Jade Olivera. “He thought it was one of those machines where you wave your hand near it and it spits out a paper towel. At least we know he washed his hands.”
Trump Signs Order to Limit Number of Words
Published February 2017“Trump is a dumb, dumb person and as such he does not know very many words,” said White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer.
Local Teen Completes First Full Sentence in Three Years
Published December 2016UPLAND, CA -In what doctors are reporting as a medical breakthrough, 15-year-old Rachelle Bremerton has said a complete sentence for the first time in three years.