LONDON, ENGLAND – Avon Products will be launching a new line of daily use face creams, called Crem De La BlaqueFace next month.

DURANGO, CO – The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory spokesbear, Truffles, has announced that she has been diagnosed with diabetes due to a decades-long diet comprised almost exclusively of chocolate.

SAN JOSE, CA – Local Jewish boy James Kirkwood has been struggling to explain to his Christian friends why Hanukkah is better than Christmas.

CHICAGO, IL — Over the past years Consumer Reports has provided parents with a valuable list: the hottest toys for the upcoming Holiday season. Retailers across the country often stock up on the highlighted toys in order to satisfy the anticipated high demand and hopefully minimize the violent incidents that have happened in the past between crazed parents.

NEWARK, DE – The American Association of Psychologists has voted to add several new addictions to the accepted resource for mental illness, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

NEW YORK, NY – Retailers across the country are beginning to use extreme measures in order to get people shopping over the holiday season.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Five years ago the world became embroiled in a new war, one that has divided the world, especially the United States, along religious lines. That war is the War Against Christmas.
The war started simply enough – with one person trying to be considerate and another being a complete and total asshole.

New York City, NY – Consumer Reports has once again published its yearly list detailing the hottest toys for the upcoming Holiday season. Retailers across the country are expecting to stock up on the highlighted toys in order to satisfy the high demand.

SEATTLE, WA – In hopes of capitalizing on a large population of homosexuals living in the Seattle area, local entrepreneur, Terri Jillette, is opening the countries first Gay Care facility.

DOVER, MA – According to a recent study in the Journal of Scientific Theory, there is direct correlation between winter Seasonal Depression and bad Holiday presents. The study, a joint venture between Brown University and the American Center for Clinical Depression, was held over a five year period and involved interviewing over 7,500 people who said they became depressed or showed signs of depression during the holiday season.