NEW YORK, NY – Although the playoffs are still underway, Major League Baseball announced a rule change this week that will ensure the New York Yankees automatically make the playoffs.

NEW YORK, NY – New York Yankees’ fans have been promised that retiring shortstop Derek Jeter will be taken upstate to live out the rest of his years on a farm.

ALLENTOWN, PA – Shortly after checking a website his friends suggested, local man, Ryan “Big Red” Centorelli, realized he is a douche bag.

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO – In a year marked by the deaths of sports legends Joe Dimaggio, Wilt Chamberlain, and Walter Payton, the most recent professional athlete to pass away is Former New York Yankee outfielder Leslie ‘Shep’ Shepardson, 64, at a strip club outside of Colorado Springs, Co.