Frustrated Trump Unable to Bring Long Stick into White House
Published October 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has been stuck outside the White House for several hours as he tries to enter the building carrying a long stick.
Biden Learning Macarena to Appeal to Latino Youth Voters
Published August 2020WILMINGTON, DE – Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been taking dance lessons to learn the Macarena in an effort to appeal to America’s Latino youth.
Cleaning Crew Called to Clear Trump’s Boogers from Desk
Published September 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – A specialized cleaning crew has been called in to the Oval Office after White House staff discovered a large number of boogers that President Trump had smeared underneath the Resolute desk.
Trump Wears Mask after Staff Insist It’s Made from Porn Star’s Used Underwear
Published August 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to persuade President Trump to wear a mask, White House officials told the president his masks are made from used underwear previously worn by porn stars.
Trump Names Intern Who Helped Remove Computer Virus Head of CDC
Published June 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has installed a new head of his COVID task force – a White House Intern that helped remove a computer virus from the President’s laptop.
DNC Brainstorming Ideas to Get Voters to Pick DNC-Backed Candidate
Published February 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Democratic National Committee (DNC) leaders are scheduling urgent meetings to discuss how to get people to vote for candidates that the DNC wants them to vote for in the upcoming primaries instead of the candidates that the voter’s actually prefer.
Trump Wearing Home-made Toilet Paper Sash, Crown
Published March 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has begun wearing a hand-made sash and a paper crown around the White House as well as some official events.
Trump Passes Note to World Leaders Asking "Will U Go 2 War with Me?"
Published February 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump was seen passing notes stating “will u go 2 war with me?” to other world leaders during a recent global economic summit.
White House Staff Forget to Plug In Pence Before Long Weekend
Published December 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – Vice President Mike Pence has been sent to a maintenance shop after aides forgot to plug the Vice President in to a power source before the long holiday vacation.
Trump Gets Tongue Stuck to Frozen Metal Pole
Published January 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump required assistance this week after getting his tongue stuck to a metal pole in the White House rose garden.