WASHINGTON, DC – With faith in their government at an all time low, the American people have elected a new party to take lead of Congress – The Klingon National Assembly. This marks the first time in the history of the United States that a third party, let alone one consisting entirely of a violent alien race, has been a majority in either the House of Representatives or the Senate.

WASHINGTON D.C – With President Bush’s approval rating at an all time low, the White House unveiled a new method for acquiring the approval rating during a press conference earlier this week.

BAGHDAD, Iraq – In a survey conducted last month, just under half of Iraqi teens said they are much better now with one or more less parents.

WASHINGTON D.C. – Beginning later this month, Americans will be singing a different tune. With new legislature proposed by President Bush, the current National Anthem is set to be replaced by a more patriotic and inspiring chant.