New Poll: Iraqi Teenagers Much Happier With Less Parents
Published May 2004 1 Comments | Share:
Children in Baghdad hold up beer bottles as they "party" without parent supervision.
BAGHDAD, Iraq – In a survey conducted last month, just under half of Iraqi teens said they are much better now with one or more less parents. Citing relaxed curfews, more freedom and less attention by remaining parents, 47% of Iraqi teens are glad conflicts with the United States led forces resulted in the death of family members.
The CNN/USA Today/Gallup Poll focused on attitudes of teens and younger children as a result of the invasion and the toppling of Saddam Hussein.
“My dad was killed in the battle of Baghdad and since then my mother, she has let me come and go as I please,” said Waqar Atwan, age 15. “No more nagging about where I have been or with who I was been with. Now I am man of the house. I tell her what to do. Last night, I told her to make me dinner. When she did, I spit in it and told her to do it again. Just like my father did. If my father was here he would not let me stay up until 2 a.m. throwing grenades at intruders. He knew not how to have fun.”
Since the invasion began over a year ago, thousands of parents have been killed either by coalition forces or other Iraqis.
“My mother and father were both killed here in Fallujah almost five months ago,” said Shral Ahmed, age 12. “At first I was scared and did not know what to do. I and my brothers just stayed in this house for a long time without leaving. Then, after 2 days I realized ‘Hey! Mother and Father are not here to tell us what to do anymore. We should party!’ My brothers agreed and we threw a party with beer we found at an old American camp site. We invited all our friends who are still alive and partied for four days straight and we would have kept going if the British soldiers would not have thought us to be suicide bombers and blew up the house. Now I only have me to worry about and even one less hand. Thank you America for my freedom from Saddam and my parents… and my hand!”
U.S. leaders were pleased to hear the results of the poll.
“That’s good news. I’m glad as hell that those bastard little devil children are happier now,” said President George W. Bush. “It proves that going in there and killing everyone was a good idea. I just wish all those other people there in Iraq would listen to these kids and let us do whatever we want. In fact, we should give these kids a free shipment of something they really need, beer! Or loose women, those two things go together like, salt and pancakes, or Bush and oil.”
While the President may be pleased with the poll, many Americans see the situation in Iraq as a terrible thing.
“This whole situation is going to go from bad to worse,” said Richard Williams, Texas businessman and father of three. “If those kids only got one parent, they’re gonna be in trouble. Especially if it’s the mom. Everybody knows that womens, raising kids alone, is a bad idea. Only two things will come out of that. Either we’re going to have a whole country of damn queers, or, well, that’s the only outcome I can see. Women need men in their lives, plain and simple. And kids need men too. Who else is going to give them their first porno mag? Not the mom. Who’s gonna take the kid to his first titty bar? Not mom. The whole situation sickens me.”
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Posted by: C red · Aug 1, 02:22 PM · #