WASHINGTON, D.C. – A specialized cleaning crew has been called in to the Oval Office after White House staff discovered a large number of boogers that President Trump had smeared underneath the Resolute desk.

DALLAS, TX – A local sports fan, Derrick Browdirt, has found himself unable to communicate with other males due to the cancellation of all sports and sporting events during the COVID-19 pandemic.

VANCOUVER, BC – A tourist from Texas is testing a Canadian waiter’s patience and politeness.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – If ratings don’t improve network executives say they may be forced to cancel The Donald Trump Presidency.

The Scoop News has traveled around America tasting every burger in every state, and now we’ve compiled a list of our favorites. Here are The Scoop News’ top 10 burgers in America.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Pokémon Dewgong, a white sea lion like creature, has been added to Endangered Species list the by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.

The creature has been hunted to near extinction in recent weeks as a result of the popularity of the Pokémon Go game.

“In a lot of ways Pokémon Go has been the worst thing to happen to this world but it has been specifically terrible to the poor little Dewgong,” said Pokémon scientist Kellie Peters.

NEW YORK, NY – As the world becomes more dangerous, a growing trend is creating a list of “must do”s to be completed before one dies – commonly known as a “bucket list.”

SEATTLE, WA – White women across the country are in a state of panic as Starbucks has announced they will be discontinuing the popular Pumpkin Spice Latte, just weeks before the drink was to go on sale.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Responding to critics and increasing pressure from women’s groups, Hollywood studio executives say they will temporarily change many of the decades long practices with regard to women.

NEW YORK, NY – A student at NYU has expressed disappointment regarding his “Occupy My Pants” party that occurred last weekend in the student’s dorm room.