Lotto Winner Planning to Buy Politician
Published August 2022TOLEDO, OH – The winner of the recent Mega Millions lottery jackpot said she plans to purchase her very own politician with the winnings.
Decorators Offer Tips for Decorating Your New Bedroom in Your Parent’s Basement
Published May 2022LOS ANGELES, CA – As thousands of students graduate college and move back in with their parents, redecorating tips for basement living spaces has become a popular social media trend.
Tucker Carlson Suggests Drinking Bull Semen to Increase Testosterone
Published May 2022NEW YORK, NY – To combat falling testosterone levels in American, white males, Fox News personality Tucker Carlson recommends drinking bull semen.
Lifting Mask Mandates Makes It Difficult to Identify Jerks
Published March 2022DENVER, CO – As mask mandates across the country are lifted, many Americans are finding it more difficult to identify jerks.
Sanctions Imposed on Russian Porn After Russian Invasion of Ukraine
Published March 2022NEW YORK, NY – The United States of America and the European Union announced drastic new sanctions against Russia as a result of the war in Ukraine. The sanctions will block the import of any pornography from Russia.
Country Singer Considering Using N-word to Boost Album Sales
Published January 2022NASHVILLE, TN – Country singer Glenn Coventry is considering posting a video of himself using the N-word to boost record sales for his new album.
New Poll Finds Majority of Americans Just Can't Anymore
Published January 2022WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to a recent poll, the number of Americans that just can’t anymore is at an all-time high.
Manchin and Sinema Propose Taxing Minecraft Players to Pay for Infrastructure Bill
Published November 2021WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senators Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema have proposed changes to the funding of the infrastructure bill.
Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments
Published October 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.
Internet Group Aims to Help Republicans Find Republican-friendly Rock Music
Published July 2021NASHVILLE, TN – A new online support group has been launched to help Republicans find music made by artists that align with current Republican values.
