DES MOINES, IA – After a record-breaking collegiate career, woman’s college basketball player Caitlin Clark’s accomplishments have been compared to the accomplishments of every male athlete ever.

WASHINGTON, D.C. –Republicans running for seats in the Senate and House of Representatives have turned to a new website to help in fundraising efforts – GOPnlyFans.

TORONTO, CANADA – The NHL announced that starting next year advertising will be added to every available spot on the ice, boards, and uniforms.

CHICAGO, IL – In a new survey of children ages five to 15, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.

NEW YORK, NY – Facing an overworked healthcare system due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is calling on any actor or actress that has ever appeared in a movie, TV show, or play as a medical professional to report to their closest hospital to treat patients.

SANTA FE, NM – Anthropologists are excited by recently discovered cave drawings that they say prove that the earliest inhabitants of North America were terrible artists.

ANAHEIM, CA – The Scoop News has gathered a number of Star Wars experts and identified eight The Force Awakens rumors that are likely to be probably true.

PLEASANTVILLE, WISCONSIN – In their monthly newsletter Pleasantville Community College announced the launching of a new curriculum — Vocational Certificate in Careers of Sexuality.

NEW YORK, NY – As Tim Tebow’s NFL career looks to be in jeopardy, one time fan Jesus Christ has begun distancing himself from the football player.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With less than a month left in his term as President of the United States, George W. Bush has admitted that he has “a severe case of senioritis.”