Trump Wears Mask after Staff Insist It’s Made from Porn Star’s Used Underwear
Published August 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to persuade President Trump to wear a mask, White House officials told the president his masks are made from used underwear previously worn by porn stars.
Trump Names Intern Who Helped Remove Computer Virus Head of CDC
Published June 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has installed a new head of his COVID task force – a White House Intern that helped remove a computer virus from the President’s laptop.
Home Owners Opting for Home Offices Instead of Home Sex Dungeons
Published June 2020SEATTLE, WA – A new report from Zillow states that “home office” has replaced “sex dungeon” as the number one search phrase entered by users looking for a new home.
White House Staffer Fired for Telling Trump to Stop Licking Window
Published May 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House staffer has been fired for suggesting President Donald Trump stop licking and “doing blowfishes” on the White House windows.
Local Man Unable To Communicate Without Sports
Published March 2020DALLAS, TX – A local sports fan, Derrick Browdirt, has found himself unable to communicate with other males due to the cancellation of all sports and sporting events during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Melania Trump Extends Physical Distancing Within the White House to 100 Feet
Published April 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Melania Trump is calling for expanded physical distancing, specifically within the White House, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.
Trump Wearing Home-made Toilet Paper Sash, Crown
Published March 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has begun wearing a hand-made sash and a paper crown around the White House as well as some official events.
Trump Passes Note to World Leaders Asking "Will U Go 2 War with Me?"
Published February 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump was seen passing notes stating “will u go 2 war with me?” to other world leaders during a recent global economic summit.
White House Staff Forget to Plug In Pence Before Long Weekend
Published December 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – Vice President Mike Pence has been sent to a maintenance shop after aides forgot to plug the Vice President in to a power source before the long holiday vacation.
Trump Gets Tongue Stuck to Frozen Metal Pole
Published January 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump required assistance this week after getting his tongue stuck to a metal pole in the White House rose garden.