Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments
Published October 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.
Olympic Events Changed to Help COVID Affected Athletes
Published August 2021TOKYO, JAPAN – The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has forced the International Olympic Committee to make several changes to events of this year’s Summer Olympic Games to accommodate athletes COVID-19 related symptoms.
Tesla Owner Successfully Mentions He Owns a Tesla in Every Conversation
Published April 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Local Tesla owner, Jacob Gregory, has successfully worked the fact that he owns a Tesla into every conversation he’s had since purchasing the vehicle in late 2020.
Restaurants to Server Half Eaten Meals to Children
Published February 2021LOS ANGELES, CA – Beginning this month, several prominent restaurant chains will begin serving children meals that come half-eaten.
Pfizer Releases Double-sided Valentine's Day COVID Vaccine
Published January 2021NEW YORK, NY – In advance of Valentine’s Day, Pfizer has released a new double-sided COVID-19 vaccination needle that will allow a couple to vaccinate each other at the same time.
Trump Hiding from Staff in White House
Published December 2020WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the Presidential election, by a considerable margin, Donald Trump has begun hiding from staff in the White House in a desperate attempt to remain President.
Qanon Revealed to be Mountain Dew Marketing Campaign
Published October 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking Post-Election revelation, the source of the mysterious Qanon conspiracy theory has been revealed to be the marketing team for the soft drink Mountain Dew.
Cleaning Crew Called to Clear Trump’s Boogers from Desk
Published September 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – A specialized cleaning crew has been called in to the Oval Office after White House staff discovered a large number of boogers that President Trump had smeared underneath the Resolute desk.
National Police Union Unveils New White Robe Uniforms for Police Officers
Published August 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. –The National Police Union has approved new white, robe-like police uniforms that will demonstrate a “commitment to peace and harmony”.
Trump Wears Mask after Staff Insist It’s Made from Porn Star’s Used Underwear
Published August 2020WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to persuade President Trump to wear a mask, White House officials told the president his masks are made from used underwear previously worn by porn stars.