TOP STORY

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Environmental Protection Agency has released a new study that concludes renewable energy, specifically solar and wind generated power, can cause up to 104,412 illnesses.
“(The EPA) just published a ground breaking report that clearly shows that the renewable energy that the Democrats have been pushing on us for so long is actually the cause of almost every illness that’s out there,” said EPA spokesman Frank Servees.
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WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump is confused as to why his repeated attempts to pardon The Hamburgler have been met with resistance.
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BOSTON, MA – House cats have begun stealing human souls as part of the final phase of their plan to conquer Earth.
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Fart in a Jar Prank Unappreciated by Coworkers
Office Manager Energized by Efficiency Seminar
Roommate’s Anecdote No Longer Funny
Newspaper's 700th Story Doesn't Live Up to Hype

• Survey: Truck Owners With Big Lift Likely To Have Small Penis
  
• Wynn Adding Giant Masturbation Coliseum to Las Vegas Resort
  
• Funny Thing Happens On Way To Forum
  
• New Report Concludes Most of the Irish Population Are Alcoholic
  
• Colorado Opens Weed Themed Amusement Park
  
• EPA: Renewable Energy Causes 104,412 Illnesses
  
• KFC Geneticists Developing All-Skin Chicken
  
• Trump Confused Why He Can’t Pardon Hamburgler
  
• Internet 80% Porn, 15% Cats, 4% Mean Comments
  
• Pharmaceutical Company Raises Meth Prices 300%
  

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• Crowd Indifferent to Hype Man
  
• Groupie Accidentally Sleeps With Bass Player
  
• Newspaper's 700th Story Doesn't Live Up to Hype
  
• Breeze at Craft Fair Leaves 180 with Hearing Loss
  
• Office Manager Energized by Efficiency Seminar
  
• Roommate’s Anecdote No Longer Funny
  
• Partygoer Knows What It’s Like to Be a Waiter
  
• Crowd Indifferent to Hype Man
  
• Snowstorm Forces Man to Reevaluate His Relationship
  
• Child Finds Solace in Lying