TOP STORY

DAMASCUS, SYRIA – After suffering a series of recent defeats, the terrorist organization known as Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is looking to re-brand its image in hopes of bringing in new recruits.
According to senior ISIS leaders, recruitment of new members has slowed as the population of men between the ages of 16 and 25 has been depleted.
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WASHINGTON, DC – During the State of the Union address last month President Obama made a number of statements reflecting on the past year and made a number of promises looking ahead.
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RENO, NV – Local football fan Dennis Triollio has quietly and discreetly changed his favorite football team in the last several days from the Denver Broncos to the Seattle Seahawks.
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Newspaper's 600th Story Doesn't Live Up to Hype
Massage Therapist Tries to Ignore Farts
Man Makes Resolution with No Intent to Keep It
Sarah Palin Asks Santa Clause for Relevance

• Wynn Adding Giant Masturbation Coliseum to Las Vegas Resort
  
• Local Man a Soccer Fan All of a Sudden
  
• Statue of Liberty's Flame to be Replaced
  
• Funny Thing Happens On Way To Forum
  
• Local Man Amazed By Latest Shit
  
• New Penis Implants Act as TV, Computer Remote Control
  
• Grandmother Still Waiting for Chainletter to Pay Off
  
• KFC Geneticists Developing All-Skin Chicken
  
• Corey Feldman Threatens to Leak Emails
  
• Life Pro Tips for Kicking off the New Year Right
  

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• Groupie Accidentally Sleeps With Bass Player
  
• Sarah Palin Asks Santa Clause for Relevance
  
• Newspaper's 600th Story Doesn't Live Up to Hype
  
• Man Makes Resolution with No Intent to Keep It
  
• Massage Therapist Tries to Ignore Farts
  
• English Professor Gives Up on His Class
  
• Supreme Court Legalizes Polygamy with Hot Wives
  
• Man Regrets Masturbating to Olympic Event
  
• Community College Offering Sexuality Classes
  
• Pothead Patiently Waiting for 4:20