WINTERLAND – Old Man Winter’s family and friends are concerned that his recent erratic behavior may be due to cognitive decline or drug abuse.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Joe Biden stunned the nation during last month’s inauguration ceremony by removing a mask revealing that Hillary Clinton had been disguised as Biden during the election.

NASHVILLE, TN – The appearance of a black man in a television commercial frightened white viewers and resulted in more than 270 calls to police.

NEW YORK, NY – As the world becomes more dangerous, a growing trend is creating a list of “must do”s to be completed before one dies – commonly known as a “bucket list.”

VATICAN CITY – Now that a new Pope, Francis I, has taken his place as the head of the Catholic Church, details are beginning to leak as to just how the new Pope was elected.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – With the worldwide success of the movie Slumdog Millionaire, old white people all over America are being reminded how lucky it is that they are white.

WASHINGTON, DC – All of the living former Presidents of the United States have begun hazing newly inaugurated President Barack Obama in a tradition that dates back decades.

WASHINGTON, DC – The Federal Food and Drug Administration will begin allowing the use of the drug Flunitrazepam as an anesthetic during surgery. The drug, more commonly referred to as “roofie” will be given to patients hours before surgery, unknowingly, while out having a good time.

NEW YORK, NY – In hopes of capitalizing on a new and rapidly growing market, NBC Television has announced plans to combine one of its most popular shows, “To Catch a Predator,” with a reality competition format to create “the greatest reality show of all time.”

DOVER, CT – After suffering humiliation and disappointment through most of his life, construction worker Glen Sanford has been given a reprieve and granted almost limitless power. Recently hired as a Traffic Controller for a construction project, Sanford can now control traffic with a mere flick of the wrist.