President Trump has locked himself in a White House bunker after screaming that he has seen a ghost.

Trump Refuses to Come Out of Bunker After Seeing Ghost

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to multiple sources within the White House, President Trump has been hiding in a bunker since Halloween after he reported seeing “a ghost.”


President Donald Trump denied eating cookies that were intended for a White House party even though he had chocolate and crumbs on his face and on his desk.

Trump Denies Eating Cookies Despite Crumbs, Chocolate on his Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump says that he did not steal cookies from the cookie jar and he refuses to acknowledge that he currently has crumbs all over his face and desk.


President Trump has been trying to call President Whitmore from the film Independence Day to ask for advice on recent scandals.

Trump Seeking Advice from ‘Independence Day’ President

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Seeking advice, President Donald Trump has been attempting to call the President from the film Independence Day.
“The President recently saw Independence Day on tv, (Trump) watches a lot of tv, and was impressed by President Whitmore,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.


Fart in a Jar Prank Unappreciated by Coworkers

EVANSVILLE, IN – A local man’s “fart in a jar” office prank was not well received by his coworkers.


Google Readies New Blue Screen Application

PORTLAND, OR – The latest application from Google, code named “Blue Screen,” has the entire tech industry on edge as rumors persist that the application will revolutionize modern computing.
“The technology at work here is astonishingly sophisticated. It’s unlike anything the world has ever seen,” said Google CEO Eric Schmidt. “ “This (Blue Screen) will literally reach through your screen and slap you in the face. Well, not literally.”


Former Presidents Continue Tradition by Hazing Obama

WASHINGTON, DC – All of the living former Presidents of the United States have begun hazing newly inaugurated President Barack Obama in a tradition that dates back decades.


MCI To Replace Entire Sales Force With Cute Children

ENGLEWOOD, CO – In a surprising and risky move, the telecommunication company MCI has decided to replace its entire sales workforce with children ranging from ages six to eight-years-old.


Cookie Monster Checks Into Rehab After Intervention

VENTURA, CA – Friends and family of the TV star Cookie Monster held what they are referring to as “a successful intervention” last month in an effort to get Monster clean and free from his cookie addiction.


Artist: Kansas City too Stupid to Appreciate Art

KANSAS CITY, KS – The morning after his debut at the Kelgloss Gallery in downtown Kansas City, local artist Enrich Fellstone lashed out against the residents of the city calling them “Neanderthals that wouldn’t know real art if it came right up to them and fucked their sister.”


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